Life is full of ups and downs; that’s what everybody likes to say, but recently (for the last 2 years now), it’s just been a full downhill spiral and now I’ve hit rock bottom.
Let’s set the context out here.
2017 I had freshly graduated out of university and was excited for my first job in London — imagine that, a 22 year old international student landing a job and working abroad! Now, it didn’t take long for me to realise that “Hey, maybe I’ve overstayed my welcome in London” as I very quickly shifted from my positive, bubbly work mood to weary, tired old me. At this point in time, it had been my 8th year in London; my family were in Asia, my girlfriend was in Asia and a majority of my childhood friends were all back in Asia too. It was just my cat, Tobi, and I.
Fast forward to 2018, I suddenly started catching a whole bout of viruses and illnesses— flu, common cold, salmonella — you name it. In Asian beliefs, they say that when one becomes unhappy, you start falling victim to a whole host of issues. I may not be one for Asian beliefs but I sure made the executive decision to quit my job (without another job lined up) and move back to Asia by Christmas of 2018.
Overwhelmed with joy and relief, meeting friends old AND new, I was relishing the move back to my home country. My family and I had just settled into a new apartment; Tobi the cat had just flown to his 3rd continent and the stars just seemed to align. Let’s bring on 2019!
For a time, I was so enthusiastic about launching my own startup in the wellness space. Everything seemed to be going according to plan — we launched our MVP, we secured 200+ signups, we secured a number of wellness therapists — surely nothing could go wrong?
Oh boy, how wrong I was. May 2019. Everything started taking a turn for the worse. Our startup applied for nearly every accelerator, approached every angel, every businessman we could approach. Nada. Nobody would fund us. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why — we proved that the concept worked without much cash influx, we were making money at that point in time (given the small scale nature of the business at hand) and with just a little bit of cash injection, it would be a scalable business in South East Asia.
I told myself “No worries, we can still last until the end of 2020 without the support of others, by which time, I’m sure we can prove our worth”. For those of you in the startup space, you may be wondering, “Yup, that’s our life. Take it on the chin and keep marching on.” That’s what I did. I kept soldiering on but coupled with the incessant nagging from my parents to find a “typical job”, I felt the double whammy of rejection kicking in. (My parents were never supportive of the idea of launching my own business but it was just something that if I never did, I’d regret for life.)
SO WE MOVE ON TO 2020. MY LORD WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT 2020.
Covid-19.
The whole world goes into lockdown, Malaysia goes into Movement Control Order (MCO — basically lockdown with a fancy name) and guess what, businesses die (naturally, if there aren’t any customers). Well, what was once a dream turned out to be a failed startup but what do you know, we learn, we adapt and we move on.
So, here I am, trying to find my way back into the corporate world but what do I have to offer? I’m just a 25 year old kid, who graduated from UCL, worked in London for a year, failed at his own startup and now looking for a job. Hardly the reputable, glamourous CV’s of your typical Oxbridge candidate of whom are built to be consultants.
Nonetheless, you never try, you never know. So off I go applying in the worst possible time of unemployment into an industry which I’d be most happy in — consulting. Oh yeah, did I ever mention those glamourous CV’s they receive in bunches? Well, safe to say, I got rejected from every single one of the firms albeit at different rounds. You name it, MBB (McKinsey, Bain, BCG), Kearney, Mastercard, Roland Berger; this list is non-exhaustive but you get the picture.
No problem, I guess I’ll just try a different approach — I applied as a Case Team Assistant (CTA) at Bain & Co and fortunately, a kind gentleman took me under his wing for a month on a project which certainly opened my eyes to consulting. It suddenly got me very excited again (just like the first day on my old job) and I quickly asked around if there were other cases requiring a CTA.
I managed to get an interview for another CTA role, this time, 3 months long. Brilliant; this should give me a deeper insight into this industry! Or so I thought.
11.56pm Tuesday 17th November: After careful consideration, we’re sorry to inform you that we’ve decided not to offer you the position.
I was stunned. I was shocked. I couldn’t sleep. I had probably only 2 other candidates who were applying for the same position, yet, I didn’t get the offer. How useless am I? What should I do now? What CAN I do now?
I feel like I am in the deepest, darkest hole yet with just another shovel. I’ve got to try to dig myself out of it — but I’m not sure how.
If only life had a reset button.
